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Mary Mariah

Understanding Empowerment from a Lived Experience

A Year of Song Writing

After a year of song writing,  I have seen myself grow in three areas:

  • Active Emotional Conviction: Writing from immediate pain giving  lyricism an unmistakable, raw urgency that listeners feel instantly.
  • Vocal Tailoring: Writing specifically for my real voice—balancing my natural speaking/singing register with targeted belting moments, rather than fighting the key.
  • Stylistic Clarity (Country/Hip-Hop Fusion): Leaning into country storytelling paired with hip-hop rhythm taps directly into what I love to sing and dance to.
  • Craft Maturity: Combining emotional honesty with a year’s worth of arrangements and outputs has given me real skills as a song writer and producer.

I’m now getting ready to add my voice to the production.  Up until now I have been using an AI persona but I think I’m ready to now to go into the studio (lol, knowing they can master and strengthen my voice there).

Let’s see what this next year will bring in terms of growth!

****

P.S. Seven new songs will be released on Sunday (a hip hop education set). Until, check out eleven of my songs that are already published!

Birthday Announcement: The Spring Independence Music Set



Headline: The Unapologetic Sovereignty of the Self (To Be Released Soon).



Today, I am marking my birthday not by looking back, but by revealing the structural breakthroughs of the season. I have completed my second musical cycle: The Spring Independence Set.

This is a five-track progression from rewriting the code of identity to burning down the false structures that hold us back.

The Tracklist: A Roadmap of Rebirth

Glitch: My opening stand. I am being unapologetic about the fact that I don’t fit the norm. I didn’t break the code; I am the code. This is the celebration of the intentional glitch in a flawed design. https://youtu.be/m7cDf9qBx_4?si=8Gu3Ls1lWToIH5gk


Do You: A clear, sharp boundary for those who try to force others into the fold. It is a direct call-out of conformists seeking power: I don’t subscribe to your world, and I don’t need your permission. You do you.https://youtu.be/oSLL9JnlL-M?si=nr4fPyyLNEtFp_el


I Don’t Fly with Crows: An exploration of why I reject the flock. I don’t run with sheep and I don’t fly with crows because I don’t recognize the authority of the collective over the individual. https://youtu.be/dqQb6VKAZlc?si=4R-Hxlq7QCBEmCGM


The Ache: The morning and the grieving. This track captures the time I spent aching over my nonconformity—the quiet, unconscious pain of being “other” before I understood that the ache was actually my saving grace. https://youtu.be/p7hHdtXUxB8?si=5ia9pyRGannRllo5

Wildfire: The personification of the force within the ache. While I was grieving, the Wildfire was working in the unconscious. It is the voice that says, “I burned down those false structures you built by default. I destroyed what didn’t belong to you so you could finally become conscious.” https://youtu.be/UCsX-As3iCs?si=2ATJZm7G3WOohZfE

This is my birthday gift to myself: the evidence of a soul that refuses to be tamed.

Emotions- Performed and Delayed

We all go and the emotions that we carry as we transition is unique to the life we leave behind and the Divine we have created in our minds.

But I can’t shake the emotions you must have felt as you were preparing to say goodbye

You showed an outward face that is both beautiful and awful

I traveled with you in every part of your adult life

And I knew the face behind closed doors

That was part of our problem.

I learned to build walls to feel safe

And you needed me to be emotionally available

But the intensity of your emotions were too rich for me to explore mine

So while you ballooned out I withdrew

A mismatch that suffered the fairytale that we both wanted

But no matter what I needed or not in terms of safety

I was determined to stand tall and firm by your side

I watched with resolve as you gave that outward face

And silently readied myself for the inward one that only few have seen

And now, almost two years later, my own pain is crashing out

In that time I held strong for your fear, your loss and the betrayal I believe you felt

I wanted to be the strength that you gave to the world

But I wanted to know the heart behind the show

All while accepting that it was your life. You could leave it however you damn well pleased

Songs to be Released in 2026

I wrote these songs in 2025 but I will be sharing them with the world in 2026. They each hold a part of me but none hold the total me. Please accept these lyrics as my heart yet, stay tuned for 2027 where I will release my voice as my soul.

****

Winter Constellation/ Social Commentary

  • Dorothy
  • Bottlekneck
  • Karen
  • House Rules
  • Mean Girls
  • Look Again

Note: Check Out Everybody Needs a Church (Released December 2025 on various platforms)

Spring Constellation/Liberation

  • Do You
  • I Don’t Fly with Crows
  • The Ache
  • Wildfire
  • Glitch
  • Vengeance

Summer Constellation/ Love

  • Georgia
  • Pleasure Unbeknownst
  • Many Pages on One Stage
  • When I’m Done

Fall Constellation/Vulnerability

  • It Doesn’t Add Up
  • Daddy
  • Scapegoated
  • Thorns
  • Big Sister

Bonus Track: TBD

Dorothy

You promote the script

That keeps us down

And makes us feel good while there

Three broken men.

Saved by your tenacity

Yet the story can’t be written without ’em

Making them a main character

All while offering nothing but weight.

No heart

No brain

No courage

Hiding behind your skirt

While you carry all the risks.

Loving that you exemplify what we all experience

A Vagina with a curse

Yet still loving, thinking, and daring

While being distracted by the boys

Who have no business being in your story.

Their penis

Is their fair

Traveling inside your pocketbook

Your power obscured by two slippers

Just to find one more man

Pained

Behind a curtain

Empowered by deception

And it took a full on production

To learn

They weren’t shit

Just weight

Clouding your genius

Representing and disappointing

Because this is a reality we don’t want to keep revisiting .

Anyway

When you threaten to use the tools of power

To subordinate me to your will

I call you anyway.

When you attempt to violate me

With your words and your fist

I call you anyway.

When you withhold compassion, empathy and grace

Replace it with disdain, venom and condemnation

I call you anyway

Believing that the next time will be different

That you will look at me with love instead of hate

That you will use words to heal instead of harm

But you don’t

And I call you anyway

I convince myself of a truth that isn’t true

That you share my lineage

My blood

And my God

But you don’t

And I call you anyway.

Words Left Me

The words have all gone on strike

The tax of the lift was just too high

An emotional burden

Too weighted to carry

My safe haven died

Seven years ago

The only one that ignored my mission to be a tin man

Left me behind with surrogates

So I thought

But they had their own burden

Pioneering

Too weighted to carry

Then my heart died

Because my brain won’t make room for my heart to feel

So it cries out in silence

But he heard past the filter

Never asked me to explain

Just embraced the part of me I unsuccessfully tried to deny

Then I lost my identity

The one who taught me about the parts of me I didn’t understand

To be impassioned by possibilities

The divine having a human experience

The juxtaposition of naivete and bravery

Flexing muscles of impact, strategy

A builder

An innovator

And then I lost my soul

Her flesh

My flesh

Her thoughts

My thoughts

But just like I hide my heart

She hid her mind

But I knew what the world didn’t see

She was radically different, playing the exhausting act of conformity

Of what conventions and customs dictated

It’s why she taught us to be bold.

Her wisdom knew

There is no place for intellect

In an emotional ridden culture

Fighting anything that’s not about survival

A people with a target on our backs

That target becomes our motivation.  That survival becomes our culture.

Dodging.

Labor.

No imagination

Just the physical

No wonderment

Just the practical.

But she understood.

It’s why I have it in me.

Imagination and wonder.

Because she put it there.

Now she’s gone.

And my words seem to have left with her.

With all the other losses, only her loss have left me…

With strategy.

Conviction.

Resolve.

And…

Without words.

But.  

I’m reaching for you but I can’t feel

I’m grieving for you but I cannot cry

I’m remembering you but I have no memories

I’m fighting for you but I have no battle

I’m singing for you but I have no song

I’m yearning for you but I have no heart

Like a Remainder

My love

Hanging like the part left over

After the dividend has been divided

And what’s remaining

Is not enough for the divisor

Nothing to attach to

Undivisable

No factors

Only multiples

Still yearning

But not searching

Resolved

Wasnt in the cards

A corpse walking around

Pining for the one that has been buried

Didn’t get to know that character

Full of forgiveness, understanding and love

I knew a different type of division

Yet I still love

In a massive– incomplete — the story is unfinished– kind of way

And in my grief

I’m unsure of my pain

Tears for her for sure

But no tears for us

Because I wasn’t enough

For her as the divisor

I still yearn to take up  residence in her heart

To be among the multiples of grace

So here I sit

Mourning

In the morning

Discarded

Disregarded

Incomplete

Like a remainder

Not linked to the dividend

Longing to be attached.

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